


00QRBB 5+1

by Archangell



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-07 14:31:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13436793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Archangell/pseuds/Archangell
Summary: Six snippets from James and Q's life. Ranging from mornings to skipping meetings and getting in trouble.





	1. Mornings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jaimistoryteller](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaimistoryteller/gifts).



> Thank you to Jaimistoryteller for drawing the art I chose for the 00Q RBB.

Q loved mornings when he got to wake up next to James. It was a rarity, especially when they both had a day off together. What topped this good morning off was the fact that James had woken him up with a home cooked breakfast to have in bed and some of the new apple tea he’d picked up in Turkey when his latest mission had taken him there.

“I don’t know how you can drink this stuff,” said James as he handed Q his mug.

Taking a sip Q replied, “It’s so much better than coffee though!”

“Says you,” came James’s reply as he scrambled around to get comfortable underneath the sheets again.

“And I’m right more often than not, so I think I win this one,” Q said as he raised an eyebrow at James.

James took a sip out of his own scrabble mug, courtesy of the minions, “No, I don’t think so. Not about this anyway. I much prefer coffee.”

“Coffee? Better? No way!” huffed Q, pretending to be horrified at the thought of coffee possibly being better than tea.

Actually to think about it, he was horrified. How in the world could coffee be better than any of his beloved tea? Each drink had around about the same amount of verities, though Q did think that tea had a wider spectrum of choice.

“You do know Red Bull is full of caffeine, right? It’s pretty much the same thing, except coffee tastes nicer,” pointed out James.

He knew that Q still had pallets of the energy drink sent to Q-Branch each week, even though there were limits in place on how many each minion (or agents who regularly helped themselves) could have. Coffee was a much better option in his opinion not only because of the taste but because there weren’t any restrictions on how much of it he could drink. That being said, he probably drank nearly the same amount of coffee as Q did of tea, which was an indecent amount.

“It isn’t the same thing. Coffee doesn’t have the same amount of sugar.”

Pausing mid fork full, James looked up, “Since when can’t you dump a container of sugar into a coffee?”

“That’s true. We should test that theory actually. It might improve the taste,” replied Q as he typed on his laptop, pulling up sites comparing tea and coffee, “Apparently honey helps sweeten it too.”

“Well, we could pick up some stuff from the shops when we go, since we have no food left in the house.”

“Hey, look here,” Q said pointing to the screen, “We could go to this farmers market that’s nearby.”

“Sounds like a plan. Now finish your breakfast,” said James, grabbing the computer off Q and replacing it with his meal.

Grumbling Q dug in, whilst thinking up a million and one ways of how to test and improve coffee, and of ways in which to convince James that tea was indeed the superior drink. Maybe since James didn’t like Red Bull, he could slip some into all of James’s test coffees.

Q chuckled, what a great day this was turning out to be. James looked at him suspiciously, but he just smiled sweetly and nicked some bacon, which led to as it usually did, a tickle fight and a messy bed.

Thankfully no plates or mugs were broken… this time.


	2. Puppies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Q and James adopt a couple of puppies.

Bundled up in several cardigans, coats and scarfs, Q walked slowly down the snow-covered path through the park, sipping tea from a travel mug. He was thankful he had something to warm his hands with, since James had won their only pair of mittens in a game of paper, scissors, rock. Q definitely and adamantly knew James had cheated. He chuckled, at least now he had an excuse to put his hands in James’s coat pockets. Not that his coat pockets had anything wrong with them, he just liked James’s pockets better.

Realising James wasn’t walking next to him anymore, Q turned to look behind him. Still not seeing James anywhere, he walked fast back the way he had come, searching behind the trees and bushes along the way.

Finally he found the other man kneeling in a playpen being mobbed by a group of puppies. Making his way closer to James, Q thought, ‘This must’ve been what all the people had been looking at when we passed them.’

“Having fun?” he asked. 

“Look at them all, Q. They have just about the same amount of hair as you do!” said James, continuing to pat the puppies as he looked up at Q.

A few people standing close by laughed, before stopping when Q glared at them.

One sidled close to the two men, “Just so you know, these puppies are here to help promote the local pound. We are hoping this meet and greet will help with funding and more adoptions, not only for these little cuties but the ones back at the pound.”

“Did you hear that Q? These little guys need a home. We should choose one.” The look James gave Q could’ve rivalled any of the puppies. 

“No, we can’t. We have cats, remember?”

 James pouted, “But they’re fine with Eve’s little thing when she brings it over.”

“Still, work…” Q crossed his arms. The puppies were cute, but there was no way they could adopt one. “We could make a donation. And send the search and rescue department over since they’re looking for more recruits.”

 “Good ideas, though I still think we should adopt one. We could bring them to work. The minions would love them!”

 Q sighed; obviously James wouldn’t budge on this. Putting his travel mug on the nearest table, he climbed into the pen next to James. Puppies jumped on him from all sides, making him fall over. He tried to pat them all but there were too many wriggling bodies, so he couldn’t be sure he got them all.

 “Do you have a favourite?” he queried.

 James broke into a grin, “You mean it?”

 "Yes. But you’re in charge of toilet training and making sure it doesn’t chew any of my computer parts.”

“Yeah, yeah. I can’t choose between this brown one and that one that’s currently climbing your shoulders… Careful it’s chewing your hair!” James helped Q get his hair out of the puppy’s mouth before gathering it into his arms next to the other one.

Cocking his head to the side Q thought. Maybe they didn’t need to choose between either. Having two would be good, since they could keep each other company if they needed to be left alone together for whatever reason. 

“I think the gold one needs to be called JB. You should name the other one.”

“What? Two?” James whipped his head around so that he could look at Q fully.

“You heard me.”

“You’re the best!” grinned James as he leant over to kiss Q.

Squirming Q laughed as both puppies tried to lick his face. “So name?” 

“Mop. Because he’s the same colour as your hair.”

“That’s only fair, since JB is after you,” smiled Q.

After signing the adoption papers and making the donation, Q and James headed off with their two new family members to the local pet shop for everything the two puppies needed. Q made them stop in at Mi6 so he could equip them with trackers. As predicted the minions loved the puppies and spent a couple of hours cuddling them until M came down and made them all go back to work. Well, not until after he had a good cuddle with the two new mascots.


	3. Cooking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Q attempts to cook.

 

Pots and pans flew as Q scrambled around trying to get the dish he wanted from the back corner of the cupboard. Finally locating it, he grabbed it and crawled back out clutching his prize.

“Shit. It’s the wrong one,” he grumbled looking from the dish to the paused video of James cooking on the portable DVD player, “It’ll have to do, since James obviously hid the one he used.”

James had been summoned to go on a mission, so he’d thought it’d be a good idea to leave Q the videos so that he didn’t have to rely on takeouts, and he wouldn’t die of boredom on the mandatory technology free holidays M had forced upon him.

Really though, Q thought angrily, what on earth was he supposed to do without access to his computer, phone or any of the gadgets he was currently making and no James to help distract him? There was only so many walks he could take Mop and JB on, and all the good shops had been alerted so he couldn’t buy anything technology wise or manuals to make things.

Clunking the dish down Q looked around at the mess that was once the kitchen trying to locate a ladle or spoon of some sort, only to find that the puppies had run off with them and started to chew some of them. Even the cats seemed to be getting in on the action by licking the sauce off the many spoons lying about. 

Giving up, he made sure the sauce was cool enough to touch before he rolled up his sleeves and plunged his hands into the pot to start scooping it into the dish.

“Shit!”

One scoop in and Q was wearing the sauce. This was not how it was supposed to be.

Q turned around to grab at the paper towels to clean up the mess, tripping up on JB who’d wandered into the kitchen. Flailing his arms around Q managed to knock the sauce off the bench, scaring all the animals and himself in the process as it landed on the ground with an all mighty crash.

“Oh, bollocks! Bugger this!” Q huffed as he shooed everyone out of the kitchen, ripping his cardigan off.

Wiping his hands and face, he chucked the dirty cardigan into the clothesbasket. It seemed that every time he had tried to copy one of James’s videos he ended up just eating toast. Even then he would just end up setting the fire alarm off, and burn the bread to a crisp. At least the other attempts at cooking had ended in less of a mess than this one, but he wasn’t looking forward to the clean up like usual.

“Where the hell is the rest of the bread?” Q stared into the empty pantry. He swore that he had at least half a loaf of bread left. All there was left in the cupboard was a bag of flour on the top shelf.

Did he really go through that many ingredients? Q sighed. He’d have to go shopping earlier then expected.

“Q? What happened in here?”

"Well, it seemed James was home early. Q turned towards him, “Um. It wasn’t me?”

 “Oh, so it was the puppies?” James entered the kitchen and looked around more.

“Yes,” said Q as he wrapped his arms around James, squeezing hard.

James sighed, “It’s going to be one hell of a job cleaning this up, you know.”

“Yup. Isn’t it great you’re home early? Seriously though, can I interest you in a pizza and a cleaning cloth?”

Sighing again James smiled as Q gave him the puppy dog eyes. He was glad to be home, even with an epic cleanup in the near future. Nothing could beat being able to hold his boffin in his arms.


	4. Relaxing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Q and James bunk off work.

James grabbed the remote to the TV and switched it on before collapsing onto the nearest couch and stretched out. As soon as he was comfortable Encryption, one of his and Q’s rescue cats, jumped up and snuggled in next to him.

Absentmindedly he scratched the cat’s ears as he scrolled through Netflix to find the latest Top Gear episodes that he missed out on whilst he’d been away for his last mission.

“I can’t believe you watch that show,” Q said as he draped himself over the back of the couch.

James reached up and tugged at one of Q’s arm, “It’s not like you never choose to watch it.”

Sliding down the couch Q cuddled James, giving Encryption a little scratch, saying, “True. I haven’t seen these latest episodes as well, since I’ve been stuck at Mi6 watching your arse and making sure it doesn’t bow its self up.”

“Tell me, my dear boffin, would you rather watch Top Gear or my lovely behind?” said James, wriggling his hips for effect. 

Q chuckled, “How is that even a question? Top Gear, obviously.” 

“Now my feelings are hurt,” James tried to frown but it wasn’t long before a smile was creeping through.

“If it makes you feel better I’m sad too, since we can’t take the day off tomorrow and watch all the episodes we’ve missed,” sighed Q.

“We can’t? Since when?” said James, with an actual frown this time.

“Well, since Eve cornered me the other day and told me off for missing so many meetings. She says she won’t make any more excuses for me, no matter how lovely the high heels that I give her look.”

“That explains Tanner’s odd behaviour this afternoon. He told me not to bother giving him any more scotch. More for me to drink I suppose… Do you think M’s gotten to them?”

“Probably,” shrugged Q.

“There’s only one way to fix this,” James said, grinning.

Q sat up quickly; it was always bad when James got an idea into his head, since they involved big explosions or some sort of major destruction. “Oh no, James. You can’t just randomly blow up England to get out of work!" 

“Good idea! That’s a much better plan. Why didn’t I think of that?”

“Seriously?” Q’s mouth fell open with shock. It wasn’t often that he was wrong about what James’s ideas involved.

“Yes. I was going to say we should quit Mi6 and get employed by Top Gear.”

“You’ve got to be joking,” said Q, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m not. I think I’d make a great Stig. And you could help out with the cars and stuff.”

“No. Just no,” Q let his head thump onto James’s shoulder.

“Come on, Q. It’d be fun,” James smiled, poking Q in the ribs, “So since both bombs and cars are off the list, sadly, what are we going to do?”

Frowning Q thought for a while, “Something incredibly stupid.”

It was James’s turn to raise an eyebrow, “Like?”

“Give me your phone,” replied Q as he made grabby hands at the mobile lying on the coffee table in front of them. Quickly dialling a number, he held it up to his ear, “Yes, M? Yeah, hi. James and I won’t be coming in tomorrow… I know about the meetings… Well, we both don’t care… Yes, we do actually. We’re going to spend the whole day relaxing and watch Top Gear. Isn’t it a fantastic plan? … Which episode? … Ah, um, we’re up to the one where they’re testing out some Aston Martins… Thank you, Sir. Have a great evening.”

“That went well.”

“Almost too well… Maybe we should…" 

“Make some popcorn and rip open some of that chocolate you have stored inside that fake computer tower over there,” James suggested as he wrapped his arms around Q and squeezed hard.

“Oh, I knew you had found my secret stash!” huffed Q, glaring at James.

Laughing James kissed Q’s cheek before pushing him up off the couch. He made sure Q got the good stuff out before going to the kitchen and flicking the kettle on.

The thoughts of M and the meetings far from either of the men’s minds as they quickly sat back down in front of the TV again to enjoy the junk food feast they’d conjured up.

 


	5. Distractions

Q leant over his workbench and tried to work out what he could salvage from the pile of bits and pieces that had once been state of the art gadgets. He shook his head, he couldn’t believe that James always managed to destroy the gadgets he had labelled ‘James proof’. He’d definitely needed to put more minions on finding something that the other man couldn’t some how destroy, lose or blow up.

“Put that down.”

“I wasn’t touching anything,” said James as he hid his hands behind his back, and wondered if Q had a pair of eyes hiding somewhere in all the hair on the back of his head.

 

Turning around Q glared at James, “So I suppose you haven’t got anything of mine hidden behind your back?”

“Um, well… I did buy a bunch of flowers and they are for you so…” James produced the bunch of red roses from behind him and shoved them at Q.

Smiling Q smelled the roses, “Is this an apology for the condition my gadgets have been returned in?”

“Yes...? No, not really though. I just thought you’d like something nice to look at when I’m not here,” grinned James.

“Hmmm. Thank you anyway,” said Q kissing James. He loved getting flowers, regardless the reason he got them.

Turning back to the bench, Q searched for something to put them. The obvious choice was to use his Q mug but that idea would probably end badly, he thought, since he had only the one mug to drink his tea from.

Grabbing a soldering iron, Q started to weld the mess in front of him together. It was the best thing to do with the broken stuff since he doubted even he could resurrect the gadgets.

Sitting on the bench across from Q, James watched his boffin build away. He loved watching the other man build things, just as much as he loved getting on Q’s nerves by poking at everything in sight. Sometimes he liked to time how long it took before Q threw him out of the lab. But lots of flowers, chocolate or tea usually helped get him back his front row seat again.

After an eternity Q threw something towards James saying, “Here. Destroy this.”

Catching it easily, James looked up confused, “Seriously?”

“Yeah. Why?” answered Q, quickly looking up to give James a quizzical look.

“Well, usually you don’t let me touch anything in here.”

Q shrugged, “Yes, and usually you never keep your hands to your self and for so long too. So I’m rewarding you.”

“Fair enough,” James smiled at Q before turning his attention to the device in his hands.

Turning it over he studied the gadget, trying to figure out the best way to break it. Grabbing a hammer he started to hit it. When that didn’t seem to dent it in any way, James threw it as hard as he could at a wall, before grabbing a lighter and some petrol.

“Hey, Q, do you have marshmallows?” he asked over his shoulder.

“In the top draw of my desk,” Q said as he quickly grabbed a couple of fire extinguishers on the way to join James. 

One fire extinguisher never seemed to be enough when it came to James and fire. Thankfully this time the blaze would be contained and well away from M’s office, because the last time James was ‘allowed’ to do something with fire in Mi6 he’d reduced M’s desk to a pile of ash. M wasn’t happy at all, even when both James and Q tried to bribe him with marshmallows, chocolate and a new desk.

Finally after several hours of testing James threw the gadget down in front of Q, “I’m not done testing this thing, but I’m definitely done for today.”

“Of course not,” Q replied, secretly happy that something had finally lasted more than a minute with James, “Dinner?”

“I’m full. I didn’t expect you to have so many marshmallows.”

“It’s not much of a secret that I run on tea and sugar. Did you think I ate the sugar part straight from the container?” laughed Q.

James grabbed Q’s computer bag for him and lead the way out the door, “Yes. I’ve seen you.”

Q raised an eyebrow, “No one would believe that.”

It was James’s turn to laugh. He knew Q had the same amount of video footage of him doing strange things as he did of Q, since they tried to watch their own ‘funny home videos’ together at least once a month.

 


	6. Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the missed meetings finally catch up to James and Q.

Q knew that this day would catch up to the two of them. After several months of ditching meetings, M had finally cracked it and was making both he and James sit through an entire two weeks of back-to-back meetings.

It was quite literally a nightmare for Q, since he had even begun dreaming about them and it was only the third day.

At least Webmaster was there to make the day less dull. The older cat had decided to join them in the meeting room instead of being in Q-Branch with the minions and Encryption catching mice (the animal kind not the ones joined to the computers. Not that it made much difference to either cat, as hunting both kinds amused them.)

Though M seemed to be rethinking the decision to allow both cats in Mi6, since James had nicked his laser pointer pen and begun playing with the cat instead of focusing on the task at hand.

“BOND! Stop it or I’ll hand cuff you!”

James grinned, “Kinky.”

M sighed and turned to Q, “Do you have a pair he can’t get out of?”

“Um, no. We gave up designing some a long time ago. Plus we don’t exactly need ones he can get out of,” shrugged Q as he took the pen off James and started to play with Webmaster.

“Why the hell not? You have special ones for all the other Double-O agents,” M replied, confused.

James and Q burst out laughing making M glare even more at them both.

“Yes, that’s because they’re all kinky bastards too. And in the case of James and I, well, let’s just say he’s not the one wearing them…” said Q, once he managed to get control over his laughing.

M gritted his teeth, the two of them where getting on his nerves. Though he’d probably send them to Medical if they weren’t since they annoyed him every other day of the week. Scratching Webmaster under the chin when the cat wandered over to him, he started to regret being the one to run the catch up meetings with the two men.

After sending a text to Moneypenny to organise a holiday away for him after this debacle was over, he stood up, “Boys, come with me.”

James and Q stood up as well, exchanging looks before Q scooped up the cat and they followed their boss out of the room and through the many corridors of Mi6 before they all finally ended up at the firing range.

M turned and glared again at the two men, “Now, since you both can’t concentrate and think meetings are stupid, we’re going to have some fun. For every hour you get through without being annoying, you’ll get to shoot a gun or blow something up for a little while.”

“A little while? How long is that?” asked James.

“However long I say it is,” huffed M.

Q crossed his arms, “So in between like half an hour and an hour?”

“Maybe not that long as we have meetings, as both of you know. So it’s going to be more like five to twenty minutes.”

“Hmmm, I dunno. What do you think, Q?” James turned and looked at Q.

“Yeah, I don’t think it’s a good deal.”

M sighed, “The cat will get a little treat every hour, on the hour if you just agree.”

“I think that’s pretty fair. Will Encryption get one too?” Q asked, not wanting the other cat to miss out and get jealous.

“Fine, whatever. Do you want me to get the minions of yours treats as well?” grumbled M.

“Yeah and all the Double-Os too,” insisted James, grinning. 

M dropped his head into his hands. It was going to get messy trying to work everything out and getting all the stuff to every one. Unless he just had Moneypenny and Tanner deal with it. Checking his phone again, he found that she had texted him back, informing him of her and Tanner’s immediate holiday plans of their own. 

Suddenly he had a great idea, “You know what. Stuff these meetings. I’m off. Since Moneypenny and Tanner aren’t here too and you’re the next person on the list, Q, congratulations, you’re M for a few weeks. Try slacking off meetings now.”

Q’s mouth dropped opened with shock and James howled with laughter.

“Don’t laugh, James. I’m grounding you for the time being and you can run Q-Branch for Q,” M continued on.

“Oh no. No. Nope. No,” spluttered Q, “He’ll blow up the building!”

M shrugged, “Your problem. I’m on holidays. Don’t worry, I’ll send everyone a postcard, and will leave a large tab at the bar your minions like.”

With a last pat for Webmaster,

M loosened his tie and walked off, leaving the two stunned men standing in his wake.

Needless to say both Q and James never missed a meeting again and Webmaster couldn’t be budged from the spot he had claimed in the middle of M’s desk. Unless, of course, it was lunch or home time.


End file.
